Plan B is the new Plan A
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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