I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You were trust falling into bushes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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