literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
