if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
