Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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