I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
