I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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