sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
