kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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