with your own penis?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
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I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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