i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
