Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
