So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
