sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
