bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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