the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
