all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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