Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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