i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
