Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
