margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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