Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
