P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
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the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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