the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
