ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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