I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize