He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
