I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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