i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
