I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
