I looked at my own cervix.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize