so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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