That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
