I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
vagina is talking i cant
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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