So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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