when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize