How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
