Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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