Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
