I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize