Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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