worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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