I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
