I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
