Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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