Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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