He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
