I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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