Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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