I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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