Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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