I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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