This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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