on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
