I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize