do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
