if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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