Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
