She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize