Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
