I cockslap morals
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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