I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
