I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
