the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dick very happy bro
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
