There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
