it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
