his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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