I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize