Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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