I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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