No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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